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and yet did anyone ask
who am I really
friendships come and friendships go
people love and hurt and traumatize
I live as a consequence of all the burdens I carry
and I make due
even though it's been three decades of coping and it's getting tiresome
I wonder if she stays up at night restless over the guilt of what she did to me
Probably not, all things considered
You need to have a heart to have a guilty conscience, after all
there is nothing more that I fear than to be alone
when I'm alone, my head gets louder
sometimes it feels like the world is going to end
sometimes it feels like all sorts of noises I cannot comprehend
rumble inside of my head
it gets loud
I guess the world already did end for me many times
and I guess I never really had a chance
my mind and my brain can't let me be normal
I failed completely at life and have nothing to show for it
and yet I'm still here somehow
like a twisted joke that still keeps going cruely, although nobody is laughing
though maybe
she is
she
she
she
she
have to wait a lifetime to see her get her comeuppance
she and the
bitch
Australian both were so casually cruel
though probably I'm the fool for letting them treat me like they did for so long
I'm a great judge of character I know
I wonder what's gonna happen to me in the next ten years of my life
dunno if I'll even live that long
that being said I'm surprised I lived this long so who knows